Comfort

When Noah first had to go on medicine, Jonathan and I were admit about getting him off of it as quickly as possible. We were determined to find a Doctor who would approve us taking Noah off the meds, and finding a reason via alternative medicine for the cause of the seizures in the first place.

Well, we did find an alternative dr. who helped us identify a possible cause and solution for the seizures, and then it was time to take Noah off the meds. The irony in all of this is, it was really hard for me to start the weaning process of the medication.

What seemed like a really bad idea and tedious and unnecessary became part of our daily routine with Noah. I found that giving him the medicine at first knowing the side effects and possilbe long term side effects was really hard. I thought about how I was weakening his bones with every dose of the meds for the first month. As time went on, we got used to it. Noah got used to taking them, and I slowly forgot about the potential dangers and was taking comfort in the meds thinking Noah was safe as long as he had them.

I don't think I had realized how much comfort I was taking in the medication until it was time to wean. I found myself filled with fear and thinking Noah was going to start having seizures and I couldn't leave him in a room alone anymore. Crazy, huh? I had grown to trust in the medication to take care of him instead of the Lord. It was and is still really hard for me to think that I so quickly lost faith in our Creator and put faith in a Pharmaceutical to protect my son.

Needless to say Noah has been off the meds for 2 and 1/2 weeks now and on his molasses treatment and there are no signs of any seizures yet. My next challenge will not be to have faith in the molasses.