Noah

The struggling question of how a kid goes from never being sick to seizures is still mind blowing to us. Until the 16th a April, our son had only been sick once in his 15 months of exsistence, we never had a thought in our head about where he was in the house or what he was doing. That all changed on the 16th. I was greeted by a crying Noah in the kitchen. Crying Noah soon turned into a seemingly unconscious Noah, who then fell to the floor and started having a seizure. It took a minute for my brain to process what the heck was going on. Then all the questions started flowing through my mind. I had taken enough classes in First Aid to know that I just had to keep him from hurting himself, but I still felt like I should be doing more. I waited for what felt like an eternity before deciding to leave him to get my cell phone to call 911. Although the whole situation took 2 minutes it felt endless. Watching my child lay on the kitchen floor lifeless was not anything that I could have been prepared for. After the emergency was over, and we returned home, we immediatley started to go through all of our actions feeling like we, as parents, were responsible. Maybe it was something we fed or didn't feed him? Maybe it was because we had just gone to seattle for a few days without him? We spent time researching seizures and causes and were sure we would find our parenting flaw. It was the first lesson for our family that no matter what we do to "protect" our child, we still are not in "control" of our child. We, thankfully were given the clarity to see that Noah was given to us by someone much greater than ourselves. While we started the process that would "make" him, we did not put him together. He was made and given to us by God; his ultimate Father, and while we have been given him to shepard and raise, he is not our own. This reality had never been so clear to me.

We would get to face the same reality again a month later when 1 siezure turned into 4 in one day. We just couldn't grasp why our son was having to go through this. I think I finally understood the feeling as a mother where you would rather be going through the pain than have your child go through the pain. The sacrificial love that I had read about so often when reading the gospels, but never really fully understood. Not that I fully understand it now, but I have a better understanding of the sacrifice that Christ made for me as my father.

While we still don't know why Noah is having seizures, when they will stop, or what we can do to "help" him, we do know that the Lord is in control, and works all things together for his glory, and our sanctification.

For Noah, he has a 85% chance of growing out of the seizures!

His treatment plan is still undecided, but when it does get decided I will update you all.